Not eating enough..........who'd have thought?

I guess I forgot to write about the nutritionlist visit. I had to take in a food diary of 1 week. I did....and she told me I was not consuming enough calories. I thought she was crazy. But alas, she is the professional. She also wants me to be checked for PCOS (polysistic ovarian syndrom) she stated it could be the reason I have trouble loosing weight and I don't ovulate...etc etc. I already knew everything else she told me, like eating organic and natural things. Take vitamins. I know it all. I practice a lot of it. But I have that crazy sweet tooth. I could get all my extra calories from sweets really easily LOL

The surgeon today told me not to get tested for PCOS, it would just be a waste. If I did have it, they wouldn't do anything for it, because the cure for it is weight loss. He said that if I still do not become fertile then, other testing will be done. But he did say that most women who were not able to have children, after the surgery are. That's a good thing, since we have officially decided that we want a family. Our goal is that after my truck is paid off we will begin. Which falls right into the timeline of waiting 1 year after being banded to get pregnant.

2nd Visit to surgeon

Today I just went to my second visit with the lap-band surgeon. I am on the fast track so to speak. I have completed the phsych eval and the nutritionlist counceling. Now all that is left are my 5 visits (once a month, or every 4 weeks) and then in November I have to have an endescope to look into my stomach to make sure that it is "normal", a EKG and a stool sample (not looking forward to that one) but I guess it has to be done, so what are my choices.

I asked today about pregnancy after the band. He said that it is safe and actually will help with a healthier pregnancy. He did call the rep while I was sitting there to see if they will empty the band when it's time for me to deliver. When you undergo a surgery after the band they empty it for safety reasons. So, if I have to have a C-section they will probably just empty it close to my delivery date. Then fill it once the baby is born.

I am very excited about the surgery, which I have rescheduled from Dec 14th to the 22nd. I chose the week of Christmas, because my mom is already scheduled off work, and I will actually miss less work this way. I can work Monday, have surgery Tuesday and be off the rest of the week. They say it's so easy that I should be back to work Monday. If not, I am sure that it will be okay to take off time then anyways.

They didn't keep me

I had my psych evaluation yesterday, late afternoon. I passed with flying colors, and I didn't even keep quiet...lol He was most concerned that I take an antidepressant and have for several years and my doctor has never made me go to a psychiatrist. But he made me take some mood test (which was rediculass btw) and I of coarse passed that with flying colors. Maybe he just doens't have faith in depression meds. Maybe he thinks depression can be cured by spilling your guts to a stranger, maybe he doens't know that it's considered very hereditary, regardless of what he thinks, I am quite happy and well with my meds. Now the next step is the nutrition councelor, which is next wednesday. I think I have to meet with her 3 times. One more thing, I started my chantix (the stop smoking pill) last week, I am now on the third day of not smoking. Well....supposed to be not smoking. I have lit up 3 or 4 cigs in those 3 days (only in the car) that's my trigger. I didn't smoke the whole things. And yesterday I only took a few puffs. So wish me luck.

Some of you know that hubby is out of town working in SC. I am taking the week of June 15th off to go and see him and also spend some time with all my cousins in Myrtle Beach. I started tanning Wednesday night to prepair my white self for the beach. I have tried tanning before, with no color change, no tan, no nothing. So I was quite scheptical going in. But I found the mother of all tanning salons. It's called Hollywood Tan. I have went twice at 4 minutes in the HT60 booth and already notice a color change. I just found out last night that hubby who was supposed to only be there 4-5 weeks has to stay the duration of the job, which is more like 2-3 months.....needless to say, I am NOT happy about this. I am going to miss him way too much. He tried to make it not so bad (when I was crying about it) saying that it'll make us closer or some crap like that. I know that I can do it. Honestly I am worried about him. We are both recovering drinkers and last time he had to work out of town, he was drinking. He doesn't hold his alcohol very well, he doesn't know when to stop. He got wasted and didn't know where he was. The next day he was so disappointed in himself he left the job and basically quit. When he went in to talk to his boss, he told him that he's an alcoholic and working out of town was too tempting for him. They let him keep his job. This was over a year ago. The boss' had a meeting about whether or not to allow him to go, because of the last time. So I guess they are trusting him as much as I am. He says he's strong enough now. I just know that it's awefully tempting, and why put yourself in that situation. He's doing it because it's a lot more money and he was laid off for 5 weeks and I need to get my taxes paid. But still, they would get paid anyways. Okay sorry for going on and on about that.

I have a question for those of you who are parents.....how do you punish a child (11) for lying. It's habitual and about everything. My mom used to put a bar of soap in my mouth. Is that considered child abuse in today's society? Because that's what I want to do to her.......

So the journey begins......

I had my first appointment with the bariatric surgeon last Thursday. My insurance requires 7 visits or 6 full months of seeing him before they will approve the surgery. So it is tentatively set for Decemember 14th. Talk about a long time to wait. This will teach me some patience. I am a instant gratification kinda gal. I have to go through a series of things also before. Next week I meet with a psychiatrist for a psych evaluation (I better just stay quiet, or they might lock me up) then the following week I meet with a nutrition counselor. I believe I will have to meet with her 3 times. I attended a bariatric support group meeting last night. There were several pre and post op folks there. But all the post op's had the by-pass, I have questions for post op lap-banders. I do know 2 people personally that have been banded. I still have that concern about the port and what about after weight comes off....is it visible? Dr says "no" and one of my friends had it a year and half ago, she says no (but she states she still has some chunk there) Then there is the whole thing about hair loss....from lack of nutrients...I know what you're thinking. I must be an idiot for even considering this, but until you've walked in my shoes, judge not, that ye be not judged. I have been the "fat girl" my entire life. And it's to the point now, where I am self conscience about it again. I was when I was younger, but then I got really comfortable in my own skin. Now since my accident and I've gotten so big, I have gotten uneasy once again. I have tried diets.....I just gain it and then some back. So now I am at the turning point. I need to seek medical help for my obesity. I long for the day that I will be able to enjoy the outdoors like I once did, go hiking and canoeing and I might even ride on the back of that motorcycle. Hubby is supportive of the band, but not the complete by-pass, he says it is too evasive. He also reminds me that he did not marry a "skinny girl", but he understands that this is for my health and for me.

I thought about creating a brand new blog to follow my new journey, but since I don't have much to blog about, I think I'll just do it on here. In case anyone cares.....lol

I Caved.....

I went out (without hubby knowing) and got him the motorcycle he's been wanting for ummm let me see FOREVER! I was so againsts a bike, but for selfish reasons. I talked to the salesman and it's really not a big bike at all, it's a starter. It's a Ninja 500EX, Red....and I must say, he looks pretty sexy on it. I tried to get it delivered that same night to suprise him, but that didn't work. So I went to Wal-Mart and got him a toy one. I wrapped up the key in red tissue paper and put it in the bottom of the red gift bag. Then I took the remaining red paper and put it around the toy and made it look all pretty. I got him a card and so on. I sat it in his bathroom on the sink. When he got home from work I was fixing dinner and he asked if he could squeeze in and use the sink, I said...what's wrong with yours? He went into his bathroom (pounting a bit I wouldnt' let him use the kitchen sink...lol) He states, Oh, now I see why that sink wasn't good enough. So he washes up and brings his gift out to the Living Room. He opens the card, and is confused when he reads the part that I wrote that said, Please don't make me regret this....He takes out the toy and thinks that he finally got his bike (the toy) I told him, there is more...he gets to the paper wrapped key and can't get it out. You'd think he knew, he finally get's it and looks at it and looks at me...I told him it will be delivered tomorrow...He is speachless and keeps asking me if I'm serious. It was so wonderful to be able to suprise him with that gift. It was quite affordable and one of the stipulations is that he can not complain about my shopping anymore. LOL and I can look into getting LapBand Surgery. So it's sort-a win win for me.

Craigs List

I wanted to tell you guys about my weird craigslist.com experience. First off let me tell you that I love craigslist. It is easier to navigate than ebay and I enjoy looking at what's free and what other people want. I always look at the want ads incase I have something that they want I can get rid of. But yesterday I was browsing for a tent. This weekend is suppose to be so nice, it makes me want to camp. I found a brand new in the box Eddie Bauer Sequoia 7 person tent (retail $180) for $99 cash, not negotiable. Okay I thought, if it's really new and all the parts are there, that's a really good deal. So I sent an email reply to see if it was still available. I left my cell for the seller to contact me, since it was near the end of the day. He called yesterday evening. He did infact still have the tent and was pretty flixible that evening for meeting him. He asked that I meet him in the old Circuit City parking lot in NJ, just across the PA line. So it only took me half hour or so to get there. So Scott and I head out. We call seller to tell him we've arrived, and he shows up a few minutes later. He lives close to this spot he tells me previously. We looked at the tent, decided to purchase it, exchanged tent for money, and were carrying on a conversation about his internet business and what else he sells, etc., when in Mid-Sentence he says....Okay Thanks, I gotta go. As we get back into our car, I noticed that a Police car was traveling thru the parking lot (it was a strip-mall) So he saw that police car and bolted....That really made us wonder if the tent we just purchased was HOT. We we actually teasing about it on the way over, I told Scott I was going to ask him if it was a Chinese knock-off, like those designer hand bags you can buy really cheap. Scott said he was going to call the guy and ask him if it was stolen and tell him that we just got pulled over and the police were tearing apart our trunk, he said the guy would probably just hang up on him. I told him that he probably had just been in trouble in that town before, for conducting business in the parking lot of a store. Any thoughts?

New Chapter In Our Lives = STRESS

So, I am going to be a mom. To a 10 year old little girl. My hubby's daughter is coming to live with us for a while. Under any "normal" circumstances this would be a little stressful, right? Well......my circumstances can never seem to be normal. Daughter has been home schooled her entire life, if you even could call it that. She is super far behind. She barely reads, can not tell time, doesn't spell, or write well, not even the alphabet. Hubby has not been the best father, he was refused visitation for several years, because of multiple reasons. His drinking, broken promises, mom was mad she lost him.....but regardless, he has been making an attempt now for the past year to be a part of her life. We had discussed taking her to court for custody, because of the education thing for the most part. But, had decided against it, for the fact that we didn't want her to resent us for taking her away from mom. The first day of her last visit over here in February she had asked hubby if she could live with him. Maybe we should have pushed to get more out of her, as to why she wanted to, what was going on. Because Sunday evening mom calls and tells hubby she is done dealing with her and at her whits end. Daughter asked again on the phone if she could come live with dad, of coarse he said yes. Mom wanted to know when dad could come and pick her up. We had decided we would meet this coming weekend half way. Well...so then our stress starts. What are we doing to do with her, during the day? She doesn't have school records. How will we afford to send her to daycare...etc. etc. So I made a call to the School to get some info. Of coarse the first step is to have her enrolled. She tells me where to go and what I'll need. Immunization records and Birth Certificate. So I tell hubby he needs to ask for the immunization records. Mom says she doesn't have any. Now, I don't know if that means she doesn't have a copy of the records or she has never been immunized. Stress level up a notch. Where do we begin now? I text messaged hubby to request mom put something in writing and they get it notarized giving dad temporary custody. I didn't want mom doing something off the wall, like charging dad with kidnapping (yes, I do believe she's that vindictive and unstable to be quite honest) Mom, tried to pull this business of a month with dad a month back with her. He told her that would not work. That it will take at least that long just for everyone to get adjusted. I am very confident right now that once we get her tested and in a stable environment and learning institution that she will catch up in no time. So I don't want mom to just be able to say, okay I had my break, send her back now. We know that for many reasons she would be better if she were with us. Especially for an education. I don't understand how someone could be okay with not educating their child. That is the childs future you are messing with. But, of coarse this woman still lives with her own mom. So, I can't say that I am that suprised, but I am.

So, what do we do now? What if mom never gives us any records? What if we get her immunized and she has already been, will it hurt her? Please if you have ANY ideas, questions, comments, or prayers....please send them my way. I am going to need them.